A well-articulated process of deconstructing your fundamentalist upbringing. I do agree with Joshua Flynn that not all needs to stripped off in the process though I also believe that reconstruction sometimes requires one to be at ground zero before knowing for ourselves what we really want or need.
I went through different seasons of needing to introduce myself in social settings, and for many instances, it was out of pure convenience to use the 'Christian' or English name my dad registered for me at birth - Angeline - as most would remember it more easily. For other instances, my Chinese name - Tan Ping - was the only one people knew. I have often wondered how I really want to indentify myself to persons I meet for the first time and I realize after several decades of being in new places and needing to start over when introducing myself, that I am honestly proud to be a Tan Ping - it is a coining of two Chinese words, one which was determined as a prefix of sorts for all granddaughters by my paternal grandpa, with the second word being my mom's choice.
Thanks, Justin, for contextualizing the concepts of creationism, dispensationalism and complementarianism! I'm going to refer my students of counseling to your blog as I'm teaching a class this term about integrating psychology with their Christian faith.
Hi Angeline, thanks for sharing about your journey with your name – it's so great to hear you've reached a place of being proud of your Chinese name! It's slightly more complicated with me since I do have a Chinese name but since I didn't grow up in Singapore and don't speak Chinese I do feel a disconnect with it. I did eventually reach a point of not being ashamed of it, but it's (ironically) too foreign from who I am for me to use it confidently (e.g. having to explain that I don't in fact speak Chinese to people who hearing my name might feel a solidarity with me based on linguistic identity). And thanks for recommending this newsletter to your students, I hope they find it insightful!
It's an interesting read. I came to faith in my late teens and grew in a fairly conservative, borderline fundamentalist faith upbringing. All while trying to "deconstruct" my Catholic upbringing.
One day I had a conversation with a fellow brother in Christ. He reminded me essentially not to forget where I came from. Then will I know where I'm going.
All that to say, it's taken a long time to come back and appreciate my faith upbringing, good and bad of both my Catholicism and my evangelical upbringing and be open to different views, though not always comfortable. But now I see where I came from, I hope and pray for wisdom from the Holy Spirit to guide me the direction to go and embrace and appreciate my entire faith journey, even though it has and will continue to color my worldview. And I think that's been both freeing and a struggle.
As the reader and a brother in Christ, i just am hoping you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater on some of these topics. For instance, I believe Complementarianism is taught in scripture and is the Biblical view. Your example of who can pursue is irrelevant to that actual view. I think both should pursue, and it's irrelevant to both genders being complementary of each other. The extreme version of this view that does perpetuate these things is unbiblical and problematic.
I know deconstruction is a process though. When one encounters bad ideas, he wants to throw out the whole thing. For example, and this is no disrespect to you or anyone else who falls in this camp, the Charismatic church. Coming from a conservative background, I came to YWAM Tokyo shortly after committing my life to the Lord, having been in the Church all my life. Everyone speaking in tongues and prophesying was incredibly strange to me. Afterward, I felt the Lord call me to do Bible school with YWAM and in the subsequent years I have distanced myself from Charismatic views and teachings for a more middle view that is not super conservative (in the sense of no Holy Spirit, only scripture) but also not super charismatic. It was only when I was able to fellowship around Charismatic Christians again, years later, that I realized something. I had rejected the Charismatic church so much, yet there was actually many things to glean from their zeal and desire to see God move and heal. It felt like a healing moment where my dry soul felt quenched being around them. I had so rejected their view, that I missed the good parts of it. Am I a Charismatic Christian because of it? No. I still see problematic parts of it, but I recognize the beneficial parts as something I can apply in my own life.
I hope in your disconnection/deconstruction from the problematic parts of the fundamentalist Christianity you grew up with, that you are led by the Spirit in discernment to find the good/heart behind the problematic and not throw that out with the bad ideas that have been perpetuated from Childhood. In the radical dismantling of things, we often miss the good because of our clouded judgement of seeing the bad. May the Lord guide the process and may it bring you closer to the Lord. Much love!
“All these Asian kids reciting ‘Helena, Montana’” 🤣🤣
Thank you for finding that amusing 😂
A well-articulated process of deconstructing your fundamentalist upbringing. I do agree with Joshua Flynn that not all needs to stripped off in the process though I also believe that reconstruction sometimes requires one to be at ground zero before knowing for ourselves what we really want or need.
I went through different seasons of needing to introduce myself in social settings, and for many instances, it was out of pure convenience to use the 'Christian' or English name my dad registered for me at birth - Angeline - as most would remember it more easily. For other instances, my Chinese name - Tan Ping - was the only one people knew. I have often wondered how I really want to indentify myself to persons I meet for the first time and I realize after several decades of being in new places and needing to start over when introducing myself, that I am honestly proud to be a Tan Ping - it is a coining of two Chinese words, one which was determined as a prefix of sorts for all granddaughters by my paternal grandpa, with the second word being my mom's choice.
Thanks, Justin, for contextualizing the concepts of creationism, dispensationalism and complementarianism! I'm going to refer my students of counseling to your blog as I'm teaching a class this term about integrating psychology with their Christian faith.
Hi Angeline, thanks for sharing about your journey with your name – it's so great to hear you've reached a place of being proud of your Chinese name! It's slightly more complicated with me since I do have a Chinese name but since I didn't grow up in Singapore and don't speak Chinese I do feel a disconnect with it. I did eventually reach a point of not being ashamed of it, but it's (ironically) too foreign from who I am for me to use it confidently (e.g. having to explain that I don't in fact speak Chinese to people who hearing my name might feel a solidarity with me based on linguistic identity). And thanks for recommending this newsletter to your students, I hope they find it insightful!
It's an interesting read. I came to faith in my late teens and grew in a fairly conservative, borderline fundamentalist faith upbringing. All while trying to "deconstruct" my Catholic upbringing.
One day I had a conversation with a fellow brother in Christ. He reminded me essentially not to forget where I came from. Then will I know where I'm going.
All that to say, it's taken a long time to come back and appreciate my faith upbringing, good and bad of both my Catholicism and my evangelical upbringing and be open to different views, though not always comfortable. But now I see where I came from, I hope and pray for wisdom from the Holy Spirit to guide me the direction to go and embrace and appreciate my entire faith journey, even though it has and will continue to color my worldview. And I think that's been both freeing and a struggle.
As the reader and a brother in Christ, i just am hoping you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater on some of these topics. For instance, I believe Complementarianism is taught in scripture and is the Biblical view. Your example of who can pursue is irrelevant to that actual view. I think both should pursue, and it's irrelevant to both genders being complementary of each other. The extreme version of this view that does perpetuate these things is unbiblical and problematic.
I know deconstruction is a process though. When one encounters bad ideas, he wants to throw out the whole thing. For example, and this is no disrespect to you or anyone else who falls in this camp, the Charismatic church. Coming from a conservative background, I came to YWAM Tokyo shortly after committing my life to the Lord, having been in the Church all my life. Everyone speaking in tongues and prophesying was incredibly strange to me. Afterward, I felt the Lord call me to do Bible school with YWAM and in the subsequent years I have distanced myself from Charismatic views and teachings for a more middle view that is not super conservative (in the sense of no Holy Spirit, only scripture) but also not super charismatic. It was only when I was able to fellowship around Charismatic Christians again, years later, that I realized something. I had rejected the Charismatic church so much, yet there was actually many things to glean from their zeal and desire to see God move and heal. It felt like a healing moment where my dry soul felt quenched being around them. I had so rejected their view, that I missed the good parts of it. Am I a Charismatic Christian because of it? No. I still see problematic parts of it, but I recognize the beneficial parts as something I can apply in my own life.
I hope in your disconnection/deconstruction from the problematic parts of the fundamentalist Christianity you grew up with, that you are led by the Spirit in discernment to find the good/heart behind the problematic and not throw that out with the bad ideas that have been perpetuated from Childhood. In the radical dismantling of things, we often miss the good because of our clouded judgement of seeing the bad. May the Lord guide the process and may it bring you closer to the Lord. Much love!
Word.