Definitely related to a lot in this post since I was raised and college-educated in very conservative/fundamentalist environments. Ironically, I felt that American conservative Christianity couldn't live up to its own standards (black and white attitudes, polemics, epistemic certainty, etc), and that ultimately made me go through a deconstruction process. It's a little hard to accept when your church has a polemical style that claims to have ultimate truth and subtly derides outsiders for not having it, but then when you raise critiques or doubts they fall back on special pleading ("but what about faith"). Of course, faith is necessary but it seems wrong to hold others to an epistemic standard that you don't hold yourself to.
The attitude also results in a sort of "poisoning the well" for other Christian traditions. As I go through a deconstruction process I find it difficult to consider taking part in non conservative Christian denominations. My upbringing has habituated me into thinking that if you're not a conservative Christian then you might as well be an atheist, which is clearly an uncharitable way of thinking about it (and perhaps also insulting to atheists).
Side note, I remember the whole "don't speak Japanese" incident. I was a new kid at the time, and while I appreciated the attempt to be more inclusive of non-Japanese speakers by only speaking English (at least that's the explanation I remember the teachers gave) it struck me as odd at the time that it implied I didn't have some responsibility to learn Japanese while living in Japan. And definitely looking back at it now, it reeks of colonization.
I was a communications major at my university. I had been taught that there were semantic and pragmatic ambiguity in our communication which is why having and understanding context mattered. I understood shades of color and hated how we debated people, both sides wanted to debate. I hate debate and love conversation. I'm an artist in a scientific theological discussion.
I helped lead a summer missions trip to London about 10 years ago through a large US based ministry. One thing our local staff mentioned to us was to be careful not to tell the ministry partners/donors or post pictures of us doing ministry at places like the pub. I understood what they were talking about because ministry was supposed to be a Holy looking experience. We're ministering in our (US) based context, in a church or other holy setting, like the Holy Starbucks. But for our British staff and students, it was quite commonplace to meet at a pub for ministry and fellowship. Thankfully our students understood it was how we ministered in local context. I understood the ministry perspective and probably couldn't explain or give context to those partners/donors. So I followed not posting pictures or telling people some of our activities.
I think like you I also try to see the world and ministry and evangelism as very colorful. It was really controversial and frustrating trying to tell American students and my fellow staff, who were supposed to be very international minded as we were an international student ministry, that I was ok helping students think in scales of 1-10 that if they were anywhere between, say 5, that it was OK and you couldn't make their friends jump to 10 without the scale moving 6-9. We wanted "results" and that presenting a 4 point Gospel presentation completely to a decision and we just let people go if they weren't a 10, or even a 1. The middle where so many people were was the biggest group our organization struggled to minister to.
I loved being with those middle students, who if and when they came to faith understood it's a journey and it's ok to not be between 1-10. Their faith I believed would be stronger because they had a chance to experience color. It was ok to ask questions and invite others to journey with them.
Anyway, I hope some of my scramble of thoughts made sense. I look forward to hearing more and participating in sharing my own experiences in decolonizing my experience in two different majority cultures.
That’s fascinating, thanks for sharing Jeff, a lot of it resonates with my own experiences. I found the spectrum immensely helpful and liberating when I first learnt about it too. Thanks for reading and looking forward to hearing more of your journey.
I loved when you said, "I understand the need for caution and discernment, I really do. But I also now understand there is rarely any textbook formula to follow – it more likely requires wise case-by-case discernment rather than a simplistic blanket statement and generalisation." This is at the heart of most reasons for deconstruction/decolonization. We were just told to follow a formula, and that's just not Jesus' way.
"There is no middle ground. It doesn’t leave any room for any doubts, because to doubt is to not have faith, and what could be more heretical, dangerous and undermining than that." You're both exciting me with this writing, yet also infuriating me by bringing up so much crap I was brought up with and taught. I'm trying to unravel decades of horrible teaching, but I guess we're all doing that in some way!
"Being in the UK for the past decade has been surprisingly refreshing, primarily because Brits, including British Christians, place high value on nuance and thankfully (for the most part) seek to avoid America’s relentless polarisation and sacred/secular divide. There is ample space for ambiguity." -One of the things I miss the most about the Kings Community :)
And if you write anymore about mid-day & post-church pub trips, I may just move back...
Well written Justin! I know we haven’t talked much before but it’s refreshing to see someone from a similar background as me go through the same struggles of deconstructing/decolonizing our faith and reaping out the good, the true, and the beautiful. I as well struggled through the fundamentalist grip that creationism had on my faith and have also come to see theistic evolution as the most viable position to hold in light of the scientific evidence. I also had some Anglican professors in college that also helped to expose me to the Anglican methodology of theology and found their approach of “on essentials unity, on non-essentials diversity, and in all things charity” to be far more honest and humble in terms of our own epistemic capabilities. What are your thoughts on the Anglican tradition? Do you think Anglicanism is too inextricably tied to British culture and practice and also Roman Catholic influence as well?
Hi Jonah, thanks for reading! I wish I knew more about Anglicanism but despite being in the UK for ten years I’ve always been in a free church context so I’ll readily admit my ignorance. But my next church context will be in an Anglican one, so I’ll be observing and learning more about the CoE very soon – come back to me in a couple of years haha
Hahaha throwback to banquet. I find the topic of how to engage with other religions (especially ones that heavily influenced our upbringings) really fun - although others might find it slightly unnerving. It was only a few months ago when I started getting exposed to theological literature that actually posed that being an Asian Christian (and more specifically in my case an Indian Christian) requires a collaborative, open and humble approach to the multi-religious context that Asia (and India) is. This challenges the fundamentalist, evangelical insistence of conversion and the supremacy of Christianity- which again, can be unnerving. I don't think I'm a religious pluralist (yet lol) but I have been enjoying thinking more about interfaith collaboration and being curious about how my various cultural influences can now be integrated into my evolving faith.
Yes – I've also similarly been struck by prominent Asian theologians who all insist the absolute necessity to engage in interreligious dialogue purely because they literally live within multireligious contexts (and they're courageously refusing to retreat/withdraw into their own little bubbles). And instead of pointing fingers and simply making accusations of syncretism/pluralism, I think western theologians/Christians need to give their Asian siblings the benefit of the doubt that they're doing their best to wrestle with issues that don't have easy answers whatsoever. I'm currently reading interfaith books on Christianity and Buddhism and learning so much from them – it's refreshing and eye-opening. But those thoughts will have to come in a later post...!
When my son was young, I was invited to lead a band called the "Kindergarten Dads" for an assembly. We played for the rocking K-3rd grade crowd and I sang "I love bananas" and threw bananas out into the audience. They loved it! At the end of the concert I invited kids up to dance with us on stage and they had a ball. Afterwards, a disapproving teacher informed me that there was no dancing allowed.
One of my issues with systematic theology is the subject that you are talking about in this article. the Bible has some very carefully constructed paradoxes that contradict each other just enough to force one to consider real situations, real needs of people, and seek real direction from God. When a system is devised it necessarily short circuits one of these so that things can be decided without prayer, discernment, or spiritual relationship.
The Spirit's moving me around as one of innumerable #SojourneyingShekinahShrines has given me a mindset which finds your words truthful. In the USAn context, among a reformation movement which became a restoration movement which practiced #UnityThruDivision ;-) after growing up as a Roman Catholic my journey has taught me to #FollowTheClergicalMoney || A lot of land theft (Native Americans) and labor/wealth theft/cruelty (Slaveries) have been churchified to the point that not mentioning the worship of #MarsMammonMolech vs. #FatherSonSpirit because #PlantationCapitalism must be maintained at all costs (global corporatism now) lest Jesus' Jubilee Economy break forth (I've stolen those terms/phrases). || Authoritarian governments often/always force the creation of a Nation-State Church with the chief heresy being the condemnation or nonparticipation in the rapacious plundering wars. The Spirit quite often responds with glocal networks along these lines https://www.housechurchtheology.com/ with a strong emphasis on the recognition of the gifting of all believers (not just the paid "holy real estate" maintainers).
Very well articulated. I recently heard something from a Catholic theologian that, along with other stuff he said, began a paradigm shift in me. It was originally in the context of sexuality, but I think it relates outside just that.
Paraphrased, "We as Christians are taught a Starvation diet. Any 'sinful' desires we have, we are told to repress and move on. When we go without food, we get really hungry and what looks good when we're starving? A big juicy cheeseburger (or insert food here). When we give in to our desires, it is like eating fast food. Fast food tastes really good in the moment, but if we eat nothing but fast food, it takes it's toll. We either die by malnutrition or starvation with these two diets. However, God brings a third option: Redemption. Proponents of the starvation diet reject the desire completely, and the fast food diet completely profanes the desire. But God came to redeem our desires."
The Western fundamental Christians you grew up with had good intentions in their controlling/judging behavior in their worldview, but without good reason/explanation behind it, the allure trumps the 'because the Bible says so' attitude without the explanation behind it.
The enemy can only twist up and distort what God has already formed, since he is not a creator himself. God came to redeem (reform, untwist) our views of the world, people, cultures, and religions. Glad that you are continuing to allow God to untwist the distorted parts of your life and allowing Him to make all things new in your life. May that bring you deeper into unity with God and the church, even parts you disagree with. We're all on a journey, just in different parts of it.
Hope you have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year!
Definitely related to a lot in this post since I was raised and college-educated in very conservative/fundamentalist environments. Ironically, I felt that American conservative Christianity couldn't live up to its own standards (black and white attitudes, polemics, epistemic certainty, etc), and that ultimately made me go through a deconstruction process. It's a little hard to accept when your church has a polemical style that claims to have ultimate truth and subtly derides outsiders for not having it, but then when you raise critiques or doubts they fall back on special pleading ("but what about faith"). Of course, faith is necessary but it seems wrong to hold others to an epistemic standard that you don't hold yourself to.
The attitude also results in a sort of "poisoning the well" for other Christian traditions. As I go through a deconstruction process I find it difficult to consider taking part in non conservative Christian denominations. My upbringing has habituated me into thinking that if you're not a conservative Christian then you might as well be an atheist, which is clearly an uncharitable way of thinking about it (and perhaps also insulting to atheists).
Side note, I remember the whole "don't speak Japanese" incident. I was a new kid at the time, and while I appreciated the attempt to be more inclusive of non-Japanese speakers by only speaking English (at least that's the explanation I remember the teachers gave) it struck me as odd at the time that it implied I didn't have some responsibility to learn Japanese while living in Japan. And definitely looking back at it now, it reeks of colonization.
I was a communications major at my university. I had been taught that there were semantic and pragmatic ambiguity in our communication which is why having and understanding context mattered. I understood shades of color and hated how we debated people, both sides wanted to debate. I hate debate and love conversation. I'm an artist in a scientific theological discussion.
I helped lead a summer missions trip to London about 10 years ago through a large US based ministry. One thing our local staff mentioned to us was to be careful not to tell the ministry partners/donors or post pictures of us doing ministry at places like the pub. I understood what they were talking about because ministry was supposed to be a Holy looking experience. We're ministering in our (US) based context, in a church or other holy setting, like the Holy Starbucks. But for our British staff and students, it was quite commonplace to meet at a pub for ministry and fellowship. Thankfully our students understood it was how we ministered in local context. I understood the ministry perspective and probably couldn't explain or give context to those partners/donors. So I followed not posting pictures or telling people some of our activities.
I think like you I also try to see the world and ministry and evangelism as very colorful. It was really controversial and frustrating trying to tell American students and my fellow staff, who were supposed to be very international minded as we were an international student ministry, that I was ok helping students think in scales of 1-10 that if they were anywhere between, say 5, that it was OK and you couldn't make their friends jump to 10 without the scale moving 6-9. We wanted "results" and that presenting a 4 point Gospel presentation completely to a decision and we just let people go if they weren't a 10, or even a 1. The middle where so many people were was the biggest group our organization struggled to minister to.
I loved being with those middle students, who if and when they came to faith understood it's a journey and it's ok to not be between 1-10. Their faith I believed would be stronger because they had a chance to experience color. It was ok to ask questions and invite others to journey with them.
Anyway, I hope some of my scramble of thoughts made sense. I look forward to hearing more and participating in sharing my own experiences in decolonizing my experience in two different majority cultures.
That’s fascinating, thanks for sharing Jeff, a lot of it resonates with my own experiences. I found the spectrum immensely helpful and liberating when I first learnt about it too. Thanks for reading and looking forward to hearing more of your journey.
I loved when you said, "I understand the need for caution and discernment, I really do. But I also now understand there is rarely any textbook formula to follow – it more likely requires wise case-by-case discernment rather than a simplistic blanket statement and generalisation." This is at the heart of most reasons for deconstruction/decolonization. We were just told to follow a formula, and that's just not Jesus' way.
"There is no middle ground. It doesn’t leave any room for any doubts, because to doubt is to not have faith, and what could be more heretical, dangerous and undermining than that." You're both exciting me with this writing, yet also infuriating me by bringing up so much crap I was brought up with and taught. I'm trying to unravel decades of horrible teaching, but I guess we're all doing that in some way!
"Being in the UK for the past decade has been surprisingly refreshing, primarily because Brits, including British Christians, place high value on nuance and thankfully (for the most part) seek to avoid America’s relentless polarisation and sacred/secular divide. There is ample space for ambiguity." -One of the things I miss the most about the Kings Community :)
And if you write anymore about mid-day & post-church pub trips, I may just move back...
Thanks for reading! Exciting and infuriating – sounds about right. Also, the pints are definitely calling your name...
Well written Justin! I know we haven’t talked much before but it’s refreshing to see someone from a similar background as me go through the same struggles of deconstructing/decolonizing our faith and reaping out the good, the true, and the beautiful. I as well struggled through the fundamentalist grip that creationism had on my faith and have also come to see theistic evolution as the most viable position to hold in light of the scientific evidence. I also had some Anglican professors in college that also helped to expose me to the Anglican methodology of theology and found their approach of “on essentials unity, on non-essentials diversity, and in all things charity” to be far more honest and humble in terms of our own epistemic capabilities. What are your thoughts on the Anglican tradition? Do you think Anglicanism is too inextricably tied to British culture and practice and also Roman Catholic influence as well?
Hi Jonah, thanks for reading! I wish I knew more about Anglicanism but despite being in the UK for ten years I’ve always been in a free church context so I’ll readily admit my ignorance. But my next church context will be in an Anglican one, so I’ll be observing and learning more about the CoE very soon – come back to me in a couple of years haha
Hahaha throwback to banquet. I find the topic of how to engage with other religions (especially ones that heavily influenced our upbringings) really fun - although others might find it slightly unnerving. It was only a few months ago when I started getting exposed to theological literature that actually posed that being an Asian Christian (and more specifically in my case an Indian Christian) requires a collaborative, open and humble approach to the multi-religious context that Asia (and India) is. This challenges the fundamentalist, evangelical insistence of conversion and the supremacy of Christianity- which again, can be unnerving. I don't think I'm a religious pluralist (yet lol) but I have been enjoying thinking more about interfaith collaboration and being curious about how my various cultural influences can now be integrated into my evolving faith.
Yes – I've also similarly been struck by prominent Asian theologians who all insist the absolute necessity to engage in interreligious dialogue purely because they literally live within multireligious contexts (and they're courageously refusing to retreat/withdraw into their own little bubbles). And instead of pointing fingers and simply making accusations of syncretism/pluralism, I think western theologians/Christians need to give their Asian siblings the benefit of the doubt that they're doing their best to wrestle with issues that don't have easy answers whatsoever. I'm currently reading interfaith books on Christianity and Buddhism and learning so much from them – it's refreshing and eye-opening. But those thoughts will have to come in a later post...!
When my son was young, I was invited to lead a band called the "Kindergarten Dads" for an assembly. We played for the rocking K-3rd grade crowd and I sang "I love bananas" and threw bananas out into the audience. They loved it! At the end of the concert I invited kids up to dance with us on stage and they had a ball. Afterwards, a disapproving teacher informed me that there was no dancing allowed.
One of my issues with systematic theology is the subject that you are talking about in this article. the Bible has some very carefully constructed paradoxes that contradict each other just enough to force one to consider real situations, real needs of people, and seek real direction from God. When a system is devised it necessarily short circuits one of these so that things can be decided without prayer, discernment, or spiritual relationship.
The Spirit's moving me around as one of innumerable #SojourneyingShekinahShrines has given me a mindset which finds your words truthful. In the USAn context, among a reformation movement which became a restoration movement which practiced #UnityThruDivision ;-) after growing up as a Roman Catholic my journey has taught me to #FollowTheClergicalMoney || A lot of land theft (Native Americans) and labor/wealth theft/cruelty (Slaveries) have been churchified to the point that not mentioning the worship of #MarsMammonMolech vs. #FatherSonSpirit because #PlantationCapitalism must be maintained at all costs (global corporatism now) lest Jesus' Jubilee Economy break forth (I've stolen those terms/phrases). || Authoritarian governments often/always force the creation of a Nation-State Church with the chief heresy being the condemnation or nonparticipation in the rapacious plundering wars. The Spirit quite often responds with glocal networks along these lines https://www.housechurchtheology.com/ with a strong emphasis on the recognition of the gifting of all believers (not just the paid "holy real estate" maintainers).
Very well articulated. I recently heard something from a Catholic theologian that, along with other stuff he said, began a paradigm shift in me. It was originally in the context of sexuality, but I think it relates outside just that.
Paraphrased, "We as Christians are taught a Starvation diet. Any 'sinful' desires we have, we are told to repress and move on. When we go without food, we get really hungry and what looks good when we're starving? A big juicy cheeseburger (or insert food here). When we give in to our desires, it is like eating fast food. Fast food tastes really good in the moment, but if we eat nothing but fast food, it takes it's toll. We either die by malnutrition or starvation with these two diets. However, God brings a third option: Redemption. Proponents of the starvation diet reject the desire completely, and the fast food diet completely profanes the desire. But God came to redeem our desires."
The Western fundamental Christians you grew up with had good intentions in their controlling/judging behavior in their worldview, but without good reason/explanation behind it, the allure trumps the 'because the Bible says so' attitude without the explanation behind it.
The enemy can only twist up and distort what God has already formed, since he is not a creator himself. God came to redeem (reform, untwist) our views of the world, people, cultures, and religions. Glad that you are continuing to allow God to untwist the distorted parts of your life and allowing Him to make all things new in your life. May that bring you deeper into unity with God and the church, even parts you disagree with. We're all on a journey, just in different parts of it.
Hope you have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year!